Hatching, Matching and Dispatching - Going Home as an Expat

Open spaces, familiar smells, no mosquitoes: must be home!

One of the great things about living abroad is the sense of adventure, whether it be the new places, new cultures or personal growth.

One of the terrible things about living abroad is that one is not at home for the events great and small: births, deaths, weddings, Halloween trick-or-treating, Christmas dinner, New Year's Eve, etc.

This is all part of the chosen life. In exchange for being the crazy person who lives halfway around the world, you change your status in the minds of others. You are not there. You are out of the picture. And when you do go home, you are this week's special guest, complete with questions that you would rather not answer. "Tell me, how is that whole Ebola thing going?"

Mr. and Mrs. O have indeed gone home since they arrived so many months ago. They spent a few precious weeks spending quality time with family and friends and gorged on the things they missed most: salmon, corn on the cob, craft beer, potato chips and Netflix.

Why not write about these things? Perhaps it would be difficult to accurately convey to the reader the wonder of eating fresh strawberries. Perhaps it would betray the incredible privilege of simply hopping on a plane and visiting home at one's leisure. They are roughing it, of course.

The reasons for the visits home are the usual for expats: hatching, matching and dispatching. That is to say, births, weddings and funerals.

A good reason to go home.

The first visit was planned around summer holidays, but also a close friend's wedding, which allowed for the family to feel part of home and see lots of family and friends, including quality time with the grandparents. Yet for every wonderful wedding attended, the family has missed two and will probably miss a few more. Again, a price of the life abroad.

A not-so-good reason to go home.

The second visit was more unexpected and was for a family funeral. In this case, Mr. O still got to feel part of home and see lots of family and friends - yet for the most tragic of reasons. And there might be more missed. This too, comes with the territory.

Friends and family of Mr. and Mrs. O have also given notice that they will soon be having babies. However, it will be a while before they can see the little ones, so they will simply have to experience it virtually.

That being said, the ability to speak to a dying loved one by phone or video call and to fly home to be with family is a privilege. Once upon a time, people sailed for weeks on end to live miserable lives in a completely alien place and they would find out of a loved one's passing by letter months later. And that was it. Now, one can check on any of their friends on Facebook and see photos and videos of newborns and weddings, among a thousand other life events, both consequential and inconsequential.

It is now approaching the Christmas season, which expats seem to engage in one of two ways: 1) spend serious money and energy to go home for the holidays to be with family for a traditional Christmas in cold weather, or 2) go somewhere to completely forget about home, usually with a beach.

This year, the family has decided that with all of the recent travel home, they will be going for option 2 with like-minded friends eager for a little escapism.